It’s funny how time plays out between the twins because when I met them at 9 months Alex was so drawn to me. James didn’t care too much; he preferred to be around his mother. Although James did love me it wasn’t until I introduced him to godzilla, after that he saw me as the authority that knows about his new favorite monster. By this time they were 2 turning 3 and this is where things started getting tricky.
The jealousy started kicking in because Alex would always want to sit with me or want my attention. Now that he sees James wanting to spend more time with me, Alex would get upset and sit on the other end of the couch not wanting to acknowledge me. I had to figure out what to do to equally spend time with them without either one becoming jealous.
When they started getting into Marvel super heroes we bought some toys and after work I would play with them for a bit before dinner. Then during the shows or movies I would sit between them. Things started to balance out a bit but now as they turned 4, James became more attached to me. It’s extremely challenging because their older sister feels left out. She’s 10 now and has been thinking we just want to give them all the attention in the world when in reality they still need help with using the bathroom, getting snacks, eating meals etc. she doesn’t understand that they need lots of assistance like she once did.
Believe me if I had it my way I would have a balance of more free time to get a lot of things done around the house and spending it with them but the boys demand a lot of our attention. Especially since in their eyes I’m the fun parent. All they want to do is pretend to fight like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, play video games, do puzzles or anything that is entertaining with me only.
Unless its being cared for when they are sick thats when they go to mom. It is a battle because I dont want any of the kids to feel left out but what I mainly do is try to spend a good amount of time with the boys since they are very young. Also for my oldest I try to buy certain projects that we both can do. I have bought science experiment sets for kids around her age, small robots to build and certain video games that we both can play together.
My wife and I try to reiterate to her that we only do it because they need our help and it’s not that we favor either one over the other. The best thing for us to do is find what we can do to connect with each child and keep track of time so that one isn’t getting most of our time compared to their sibling. One is into sports and being rough, the other is timid but loves video games and the oldest likes baking and being around us no matter what we are doing.
IN CONCLUSION
Im sure things will begin to change as they get older but as of right now this is what has been working especially as far as twins are concerned. Each one has their own pace and preference, you just have to learn what works for them because they will play tug of war with you.